


Dont Be Ashamed.

by icaurusdaydream06



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icaurusdaydream06/pseuds/icaurusdaydream06
Summary: "He only knows your lies because he's living your lies too"*****Louis grew up being bullied and abused by both his father and people at school for being gay. For being different, for being innocent, small, feminine, weird, all of the above. Louis couldn't take it anymore. If this continued it was going to kill him, literally. High School was going to be a new start, and by that he means he's going to pretend to be straight. He's gonna fit in with the bad boys. Do everything he doesn't want to do, but has to. He builds a reputation as someone Louis could never be, but who he has to be. He hates who he's become, but he has no choice. He's already too deep. For his 16th birthday, some guys took him to a strip club for his first drink and lap dance, cause that's what guys like him like. As much as Louis hated it, saying yes was probably the best decision of his life
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

High School. Where popularity is finally not a contest and where you actually prepare to have a life. Where grades matter the most and you build your reputation. Where you make lifelong friends and leave your middle school ones behind. Where you find out who you are and who you want to be. It takes a while to find out who you truly are, and it might take you years, maybe decades. Hell, you probably thought you knew who you were in Middle School, with your lack of fashion sense and random knowledge of useless information and borderline sexist jokes to tell to your crush who never, ever liked you back. With your knock off Jordans and thinking you're the spotlight of everything. Middle school is where you make friends with the wrong people. Where you can't go a single day without getting made fun of, whether it's your clothes, your personality, friends or your sexuality. Who you have a crush on shows a lot about who you are as a person, and how you treat someone after they tell you who they like, wether it be the most popular girl in school, the looser nerd who sits alone at lunch, or someone of the same sex. Let me tell you, i know what it's like to get made fun of for liking someone who thinks of me as his homie or some shit, and where i thought of him as the most handsome boy in the world. I would fall in love with each and every small detail of him. I would make excuses to hang out with him and become his friend. Then, once the word got around that I liked him, he'd leave me to be dirt and get beat up by his gang of friends, who unfortunately, were also hot. Well, I'm sure as hell not letting that happen again. Being able to be attracted to whoever you want is a waste of time, right?

***

"Mummmmm??" I walk inside the kitchen to find my Mum sitting at the counter reading something on her computer

"Yes honey?" She lowers her screen and directs her attention towards me

"You said this morning we were gonna go shopping today for school. Can we go now?"

"Sure, I have nothing else better to do." she laughs to herself, standing up from her spot at the counter. "Do you know what kind of clothes you'll get? Don't get anymore braces, you have plenty of those."

"Nah, i think i'm done with braces, i want to change my style. You know I'm not in Middle School anymore, Mum. I don't wanna be seen as a ́twink ́ anymore."

"Oh really? I thought you liked being a twink?"She laughs to herself, teasing me with the word. 

"It's complicated. Besides, I don't need to dress like a twink to still be one, ya know?" We both laugh together

"I guess you're right. I just hope you're not doing this to fit in, cause i would hate if that's how this turns out." Oof. 

"I promise Mum, it's not like that. Can we go now please?" I lie while changing the subject. 

"Yeah of course." We leave the house and drive to the nearest thrift store, cause ya know, I'm cool like that.

We pulled up to the store and walked inside. I went to where i found clothes that i liked while my Mum stayed away and did her own thing. I look through a section of just graphic tshirts, wich is completely out of my style. Im used to button up shirts that show off my figure. All of these are baggy and dark. It does fit the style im looking for, so i pick a few and throw them in a basket. I already have converse, and they kind of go with everything so ill keep those. I pick out a pair of black shoes and multiple pairs of ripped jeans.

My Mum is still looking around, so for fun i look through the girls aisle. Strictly just for fun. I walk down and see the endless shades of bright colors, the kind of colors I wear- no, nope....wore in Middle school. That is just a simple memory of the past. There is no bright colored Louis anymore. I am now the kid who wears dark colors, yeah, totally. I definitely want to wear dark and edgy clothes. Mhm, dont let anyone tell you different, cause these clothes are cool and I like them and Im gonna wear them and Im gonna like it and-

"Louis?!" I whip my head around to see my mother trying to get my attention. Was i staring at these clothes that hard? Why do i do that? Weirdo.

"AH- oh, Mum, hi! Are you ready? I got some cool clothes, I cant wait to show you. Cmon." 

I walk past her changing the subject, already being too embarrassed and not wanting to dweal on the situation. She eyes me with confusion then follows me to the counter to check out. As my Mum is paying for my new clothes, i cant stop thinking that, im really doing this. Im really changing who i am just so i dont get bullied. I wont be able to wear what i want to, i wont be able to act how i usually act, im not able to be friends with the people i want to be friends with, im not going to be abl-

"Louis????" My mom pulls me away from my thoughts to pay attention to the fact that she finished paying and we need to leave.

"Oh, uh sorry Mum. Lets go." I grab my clothes from the counter and walk ahead of my Mum with my head down in embarrassment. Is zoning out in public going to be a thing now? I hope not, its really embarrassing. I dont like it.

We climb into the car and head off. Mum promised earlier that we would get McDonalds because its my favorite fast food place and its the last day of summer. We find the nearest one and pull into the Drive In. We get our own meals, Happy Meals for my 4 little sisters and one for my step-dad.

Mum and I arrive home with my new clothes and food for the family. We all sit at the table together and eat our lunch. Mum and my Dad (stepdad, i call him dad because my real father doesnt deserve that label) talk how school starts tomorrow. Lotties telling me about a funny video she saw on the internet and promises to show me after we finish eating. Pheobe and Daisy are gossiping between themselves, as always and Fizzy is minding her own business, eating her food and playing with her Happy Meal toy.

...

I cant stop that my life is basically coming to an end, or at least a delay. Nothings going to be the same anymore. Its freaking me out, but i cant let people know that. Im probably being overdramatic about all this, but i have a right to be, right? Everything so unsure from here on out. What gonna happen? The future is fucking scary. One thing i do know for sure, is im not getting ANY sleep tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day of High School, Louis makes a friend.

The entire morning Ive been nervous as hell. Todays the first day of the new me. I cant believe it. Its actually happening. I decided with wearing a plain black shirt and ripped jeans. I slicked my hair back and I do have to admit, I look hot as fuck. I got everything I need in my backpack and I prepare for the worse. I said goodbye to my little sisters and my mum before i left to catch the bus. As soon as i stepped onto that bus, I knew everything i once was, its gone now.  
Everyones first class is Study, and there are papers on the wall to show what teacher you have depending on your last name. I have Mrs. Sabbath in 514. Cool. I make my way there, passing groups of friends and couples hugging for the first time since summer break. I see a little dude, shorter than me, staring down at a map of the school trying to find his way around. He has glasses and a plaid shirt on. Im tempted to help him, but if i want my plan to work, i cant. I remove my eyes from him and continue to my class.  
I enter Mrs. Sabbaths class where most of the class is already present. The white board at the front of the class says we can choose our own seats. If this was middle school, i would choose front and center of the class so i could focus and be a teachers pet. Not happening. I walk towards the back where there is a empty seat in the middle of two boys. I sit in the seat without saying anything to anyone. I play games on my phone until its time for school to start.  
Once the bell rings, everyone sits in their seats and i put away my phone. Mrs. Sabbath goes to close the classroom door until the nerdy guy from earlier races in the classroom completely out of breath.  
"S-sorry Mrs. Sabbath...I couldn't find the classroom." Some kids snicker at him from across the room. I just keep head down.

"It's okay, it's just the first day. What's your name sir?"

"Marcel. Marcel Styles." Cute name.

"Well, welcome Marcel. Find a seat please."

"Yes ma'am" Marcel sits in the seat in front of me and scurries to get out a notebook and write some stuff in it. After a little of him doing that, he makes an effort to turn around and introduce himself to me.

"Hello, my name is Marcel. Nice to meet you." He reaches his hand out for me to shake, which i do so.

"Hey Marcel, i'm Louis."

"Louis... i think i saw you earlier, in the hallway i think!"

"Y-yeah i think so."

"Well you seem nice. I hope we become close this year."

"You too." Marcel turned back around and the teacher started talking about boring stuff and passed out schedules.

The bell rings for the end of school and everyone runs out of their classrooms towards the exit of the building. I put my head down as i follow the stampede of high schoolers. The commotion around me is obnoxiously loud. Someone taps me on the shoulder, startling me. I turn around to find a tall, blond lanky dude.

"Are you Louis?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"Nick, i'm James' friend. You know who James is right?"

"Uh yeah i do." He was one of the kids who bullied me in Middle School.

"Well he wanted me to tell you that you don't have to deal with him this year and that he's really sorry for everything he's done to you." I was surprised by Nicks words. James is sorry?!

"Wha- why?"

"He's in rehab. He got in a really bad fight with some cops this summer, and his mental health was never the best, obviously. He's much better now though, he might come back for second semester."

"Oh, okay thanks." I walk a little faster to get out the building. I eventually find my bus and get on it.

When i arrive home my mum is waiting for me in the living room. As i walk in the door her eyes glow as she stands up to hug me.

"How was your day???" she asked me.

"Pretty good, nothing bad happened."

"Did you make any friends?"

"Kinda, this kid named Marcel sits next to me in Study, he's pretty cool."

"Sounds great. Are you hungry? We can celebrate with some Mcdonald's!"

"Haha Mcdonald's two days in a row?? Let's goooo!"

"Okay well give me a few minutes to get ready. Go ask your sisters what they want."

"Okayyy." i walk upstairs into each of my sisters rooms, asking them what they want. They all want nuggets, no surprise. So 5 orders of nuggets, including mine. Sounds like heaven.

That night i go over all the papers i got today from school. Nothing important, just emails and homework stuff. I stand up and lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Being different was oddly easy. I don't like the clothes tho. I'm used to wearing bright colors and tight clothes, now i have to wear dark, loose clothes. This might also be easy cause i don't have any friends yet. Marcel is kinda my only one, but i just met him, and he's very similar to me, well past me; dorky, outgoing, and very friendly. Those boys in the hallway were annoying. My teachers are nice, don't like my science teacher tho, she's kinda mean. Oh well. Today was a good day. Hopefully it stays this way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally made a friend

Finally it's the end of the week. This week was fairly easy. I sit with Marcel at lunch everyday. I've gotten some homework, but nothing stressful, mainly just "get to know you" stuff and basic questions. My mums thrilled that i kinda have a friend. I dont think she knows about my plan yet. To be fair, i don't change my personality at home. I act like i used to around my family, just so they wouldn't worry about me, i might have to change that though.

"Take a seat, class. Today we'll be covering what we learned this week. Can someone tell me what x+y= y/3 is?" My math teacher asks our class. I'm tempted to raise my hand, but i'd rather keep quiet so i don't bring attention to myself.

"Why isn't anyone raising their hand? Do i have to pick someone? Sarah put your hand down, you always answer. Hmm let's pick someone from the back row." Oh no. "You, in the beanie. I'm sorry, i forgot your name." Shoot.

*Sigh* "Louis."

"Well, Louis, can you answer the question?"

"I don't know ma'am."

"Cmon Louis. I heard from your Middle School that you were one of their smartest. I bet you can answer this." I hate this already. I take a deep breath before i answer.

"Y=3/6-2nk...happy?"

"I knew you could do it. I'll have to pick on you more often!" I roll my eyes and put my head down. This is exactly what i didn't want to happen.

The bell rings for lunch. I grab my stuff and follow the crowd of people out the door into the hallway. Im thankful that school is halfway done. I meet Marcel at the doors of the cafeteria and we walk inside together and find a place to sit.

"How was your day?" Marcel asked while he took out a sandwhich from his brown paper bag.

"Eh. I got called on in math today. That was kind of embarrassing."

"Did you get the question wrong?"

"No."

"Then how is that embarrassing? That's a good thing!"

"Yeah, i just don't like to get called in class, ya know?"

"Understandable. You seem pretty shy, are you?" Only if he knew.

"I guess you could say that." Marcel takes a bite of his sandwich before he changed the subject.

"I have a question."

"Okay."

"Don't be afraid to say no, okay?"

"Okay..."

"are we f-friends?"

"I would like to think so."

"Really?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I'm sorry. I'm just happy that i have a friend. Ya know, i've been bullied my whole life. I don't understand why though."

"If you don't mind me asking, what would they say?"

"They would say stuff like "nerd" or "teachers pet" and other really mean names."

"I'm sorry." I want to tell him that i can relate, but i don't need to.

"They would also call me "gay", which i don't get cause that's not a bad thing." A smile grew on my face knowing that he supports gay people. I knew i could trust him.

*sigh* "I totally agree."

We continue to talk about his bullies and difficult past, and i just listen. He's been through so much, it's unbelievable, and not just him, his whole family! His sibling had to drop out of high school to work a full time job in 10th grade just to support the family after their Dad and sister died in a car accident and their mother couldnt afford to raise two children on one salary. Marcel seemed like he could go on for hours about this, i'm honored that he trusts me with his problems.

"Oh, there's the bell. Thank you so much for listening to me, really. I haven't talked to anyone about it in years." Marcel packed up his lunch and we stood from our seats.

"Of course."

"Hey, uh, do you wanna come over this weekend? If you don't that's fine."

"Sure, what's your phone number?" i get out a pen as he recites his number and i copy it down onto my hand.

"Awesome. I'll text you after school, okay?"

"Okay! See you this weekend!"

"See ya."

...

I open my door to find my mum sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and a book, looking very professional.

"Oh hi honey! How was school?" she asked as i put my back pack down to the ground and walk to the kitchen to get a snack.

"Pretty good actually. Marcel invited me to his house this weekend."

"Really?! Oh that's great honey! Of course you can go."

"Thanks. I don't know when or what time yet, so i'll let you know when i find out."

"Thanks hun. We're having pizza tonight by the way."

"It's Friday, of course we are!"

...

*Later that night over text*

_Louis: Hey is this Marcel?_

_Marcel: Yes it is, this is Louis i assume?_

_Louis: Yep_

_Marcel: Awesome! Well I talked to my Mum, she said we are free all weekend, so the time and date is whatever fits your schedule_

_Louis: Okay, how about Saturday at 11?_

_Marcel: Sounds great! See ya then!_

_Louis: See ya :)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis goes to Marcels house.

"Louis, babe, wake up, you got to eat breakfast." My mum nudges me as I wake up from sleeping. 

"ughhmmhmmm five minnnutessss." I plead and roll away from her. I hate waking up.

"sorry babe, you have to get up. you have things to do today!"

"Huh?" My brain is not fully functioning yet, so i barely remember any plans i have today.

"You're going over to Marcel's house, right?"

"Oh, yeah forgot about that. It's at eleven, by the way."

"Perfect. now get your butt up and eat! it's mcdonalds."

"okay i'm awake i'm awake. give me a minute to get dressed."

"okay, see you in a few."

I open my eyes and roll over to face the ceiling. After a few moments of contemplating life, I sit up and climb off my bed. I walk over to my window and open the blinds, it's actually kind of cloudy today, might rain. awesome, i love rain. 

I grab one of my favorite outfits, my blue jumper. not only is it soft but it was just big enough for sweater paws, so cute...wait. I can't do sweater paws anymore, it makes me seem cute and fragile, which goes against my plan. I rip off the sweater and put on black turtleneck and pair it with a leather jacket. I put on some jeans and looked in the mirror. my hair was a right mess. i fixed it and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes

"Hey mum! Hey Lots" I walked over to the table where my mum and lottie were sitting, and kiss Lottie on the cheek, which makes her giggle. 

"hey hun! come sit with us!” I walk over to where they are and prepare a bowl of cereal. Lottie and Mum start talking about Lots’ first week of school and everything going on with her, so I just listen the entire time. Eventually the other 3 girls come downstairs and join our conversation  
***  
"mum! it's almost 11, we need to go!" I say as i get my shoes on near the front door. Im eager to see my only friend, ya know.

"okay okay i'm coming! what's the address?"

"i'll give it to you in the car!"

"fine, okay let's go." She walks in front of me out the door as I follow. 

"do you have everything you need?"

"mum, i don't need anything, we're just hanging out."

"do you have your phone with you?"

"of course i do."

"okay, anything else? did you use the restroom before we left?"

"mum, calm down."

*sigh* "sorry hun, i'm just happy for you, that's all."

"i can tell'' mum turns on the engine and pulls out the driveway. I text Marcel that we're on our way.  
***  
We pull up to a pretty decent size two story house, with a pretty nice lawn and everything. My mum stops the car and takes a deep breath. 

"do you want me to walk to the door with you?"

"I don't think- "

"i'm gonna come with you. Let's go." She opens her door and walks to the door alone. I sigh and follow her. She waits for me to catch up with her before she rings the doorbell. A few moments later, a woman about my mum's age opens the door with a huge, welcoming smile. I recognize her instantly, she was my 7th grade science teacher. 

"Hi! You must be Louis! Come in, come in! Marcel is on the couch." As this woman opens the door for us, we walk through and I find MArcel sitting up from the couch walking towards us.

"Louis, hi!! Welcome!"

"Hey thanks, wassup?"

"Follow me i'll give you a tour." He guides me around the first floor, showing me the living room, dining room and their backyard. "Okay, let's go upstairs." I follow him up a flight of stairs before he starts talking again.

"Okay, this is the bathroom, nothing much to see. Over here is my room. Sorry for all the Taylor Swift posters, i'm kind of obsessed."

"Ha, no problem. I think she's pretty cool too."

"As you should. Anyway, this is the guest room, which i'd where you would be sleeping if you ever sleep over! Wait, I'm sorry, was that too forward?"

"No, no not at all. Definitely something we're gonna have to do in the future."

"Awesome! Well that's it, let's- "

"Marcel?" A deep voice called for Marcel from a room that he didn't show me.

"Yes Harry?" Marcel walks towards the door and opens it carefully to find a curly headed boy on his bed with a novel placed in his hands. 

"What's that voice with you?"

"Louis, he's my friend from school." I peek my head around Marcel to see what's going on.

"You didn't tell me." Harry looks back and forth between Marcel and I, very confused on what's going on. 

"I didn't think you would care."

"Well you finally made a friend, after 14 years of existence, i would like to be informed of this information."

"Sorry."

"Whatever." Harry goes back to reading his book and Marcel closes the door. 

"Sorry, that's my older brother, Harry. He's kinda rude, but you won't be seeing much of him when we hang out, don't worry."

"Oh okay, cool." Harry was extremely attractive, like wow. Anyway, that's not the point. 

"Let's go back downstairs, I think our mums are still talking."

"Okay." I follow him back downstairs where our mums are still talking, they seem to be getting along really well. 

"Hey boys." Marcel's mum welcomes us back as we sit on a couch near where they are. 

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry, I forgot to introduce myself to Louis. My name is Anne, you can call me that, not Mrs. Styles please, sounds too formal. I'm pretty sure you were my student a few years back, is that correct? 

"I believe so." I reply. 

Aw, thats so great! And I'm also assuming you also met Harry upstairs?" Marcel and I nod our heads. 

"Awesome. Well we are very grateful to have you here, Louis. Don't be afraid to ask for a snack or something."

"Thank you, Anne."

"You wanna go back upstairs? I have a Nintendo Switch we can use." Marcel suggested. 

"Sure."

Marcel and I played Mario Kart for a while until he got bored because I kept beating him, he swore the game was rigged. Afterwards he continued his story from lunch yesterday, explaining everything that's gone wrong in his life. I'm quite honored by the fact that he trusts me with this stuff, we've only known each other for a week. He might also trust people too easily. 

After hours of talking about his past and me just listening, my mum takes me home. She stayed with Anne downstairs the entire time, they must be getting along great. 

When I get home, I pull out my phone and text Marcel for a while until he falls asleep. Today was a good day. Im glad i finally have a friend. One issue though, he brings out the middle school side of me. The side whos friendly, gay, welcoming, kind, all that shit. For my plan to work, i cant be as open with him as hes been with me. I have to stay guarded. I hope he will understand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis makes some more friends.

The weekend is over and now it's Monday. I had a pretty good weekend. Obviously hung out with Marcel, slept in on Sunday and hung out with my sisters that afternoon. All of it ruined because of Monday, of course. I'm wearing a grey shirt and blue ripped jeans paired with a jean jacket. It's starting to be foggy and rainy almost everyday now which is good cause I love the rain. I say goodbye to my mum and Fizzy (who woke up early to finish her homework) and head off to the bus stop.  
I walked to Study with Marcel after we ran into each other when we got to school at the same time. As we are walking a group of boys in front of us are talking amongst themselves and keep turning their heads around to look at Marcel and I.

"Why do they keep looking at us?" I bend down to ask Marcel.

"No clue. Probably just talking a bunch of trash." He replies. I find it funny how he never cusses, he said it's against his morals, but he's okay with other people cussing in front of him.

"Yeah." I observe these groups of boys. All three of them are in our Study, which would explain why they are going the same way as us. All of them are about the same height. There's a blonde, yet his hair is barely noticeable under his ball cap, a brown haired and a raven haired one. All of them are wearing sporty clothes. The blonde one has a basketball under his arm. They seem like a very popular group so naturally i become nervous, but i try to hide it.  
We enter our classroom and sit at our usual spots. I now realize that I sit in between the blonde and the raven haired. The brunette sits in front of the raven boy.

"Hello class. We don't have anything scheduled to talk about today, so go ahead and get caught up on some homework or quietly talk to your desk mates." I look at Marcel to see if he has any homework to do, but he instead takes out a book.

"What are you reading?" I ask him, looking over his shoulder.

"Romeo and Juliet. It's for my advanced English class."

"I heard about that. Dont you only have to read a chapter or two?"

"Correct, but naturally i found an deep interest in this novel, so i decided to read ahead."

"Of course." I laugh to myself and sit back in my chair. He continues to read his book and I sit there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I pull out my phone and scroll through social media for the time being until the kid next to me decides to speak up.

"Ayo, kid, whats your name?" The blonde ones asked. I notice that his other two friends are also looking at me. I get nervous.

"Uh, Louis." 

"Cool."

"Whyd you ask?" I ask while wondering why this random kid is talking to me. 

"Saw you in the hallway." Liam says.

"Oh okay." I try to make conversation. 

"You a freshman?" He asks, I nod and ask him if hes the same.

"Yeah but i dont give a shit about that. I already know a few seniors and others who already graduated. They know every bar and party around here. Definitely gonna be useful for our first year here, right guys?" He asks his friends who laugh with him.

"Yeah that sounds awesome." I say.

"Hang out with us.” The brown haired one asks.

"Why do you want me to hang out with you?"

"Yes or no?" The raven haired one asks, staring me in the eyes..

"Uh, sure i guess." The bell rings for the end of class, we all stand up and i notice that they are much taller than me. 

"Meet us in the courtyard, Tiny." The blonde one demands.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure." They all walk away to talk amongst themselves. 

***

When I go to find Marcel at our usual spot in front of the cafeteria, I notice he's not there. I instead find him sitting at a table we usually sit at, already eating his lunch. I sit down to join him.

"Hey, why'd you sit down before me? We usually meet by the doors."

"Not a big deal. I just thought you'd be having lunch with those boys in Study, so i didn't waste my time waiting for you.

"No, I'm not sitting with them. I don't even know them."

"Well you're hanging out with them after school, correct?"

"Uh, yeah i guess." Unfortunately.

"Therefore you guys are friends, and if you wanna leave me for them-"

"What? What do you mean? I'm not gonna leave you for them. First of all, i can have multiple friends. Second of all, I dont even know them and third i won't let a group of egotistical jocks replace you, got it?" Marcel looked me in the eyes and smiled wide. That was the reassurance he needed.

"You're right, i guess. Thank you." He said genuinely. 

"Of course. Now, tell me about Romeo and Juliet. I heard they kill themselves."

"Haha, yes. It's common knowledge that towards the end of the book, Juilet pretends to die as a protest to her fathers opinions about the two lovers. Romeo believes she actually died, so he kills himself and lies for eternity next to her. When she wakes up, she finds Romeo's actual dead body next to her, and once again, kills herself to finally be with her soulmate in peace."

"What the fuck." I laugh to myself. "Love is so weird."

"Love can make you do crazy things."

"Oh, how deep." I mock while imitating stabbing myself in the heart.

"If you think about it, and have actually been in that kind of situation, you would agree with me."

"Doubt it. Maybe you'll find someone who loves you so much, he would die for you." I look up and look in his eyes. Did Marcel just use "he"???? As in, he thinks i'm attracted to guys?? I mean I am, but he's not supposed to know that.  
"Oh yeah, cause im gonna kill myself over some stupid girl." I emphasize the word girl in my sarcasm, to make sure he knows im "attracted to girls".  
"Maybe, maybe not. Until then, have fun being hopeless." And like something out of a movie, the bell rings as soon as he finishes his sentence. He walks away without me, leaving me alone with my thoughts.  
The fuck just happened?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and his new friends visit The House.

The bell rings for the end of school. I remember that im supposed to meet those boys in the courtyard for whatever reason. They intimidate me, but this is what i wanted. I text my mum quickly to inform her.

Louis: Hey mum, i got some new friends, they want to hang out after school. Ill let you know what happens. See ya later :)  
Mum: Have fun! Let me know when youre on your way home.

I walk out of my classroom and make my way to the courtyard. By the time im there, all of those boys are there, leaning on the wall. Were they actually waiting for me?  
One of them spots me and announces my arrival.

"Heyyyy look who showed up!" The brown haired one teases as he walks over to me, arms stretched out. Blondie stands up away from the wall and makes his way over to us. The raven stays in his spot, staring me down.

"Hey, how are you guys?" I ask with as much confidence as i could have. He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me back to where they were standing before.

"Oh, we forgot to introduce ourselves. Im Niall, thats Liam and over there is Zayn" Niall asks.

"Thanks."

"What should we do?" 

"I wanna raid the grocery store."Niall suggests. 

"You always want to do that." Liam laughs at Niall.

"Because its fun!!! Cmon Liam, dont be-"

"How about we go to The House." Zayn suggests. This is the first time hes talked at all with me around.  
"The House…?" I repeat, questioningly.

"Zayn, are you sure? Youre very picky about who goes there." Liam asks.

"Yeah, Im sure." Zayn says with a smirk, looking me up and down. I stand still. I feel awkward.

"Okay then. Niall, you up for it?" Liam asks Niall. 

"Yeah sure. Lets go. " Niall says, we all follow.

We make our way to the house, Niall tags along with me while Liam and Zayn walk together ahead. 

"We actually nicknamed it the Chamber of Secrets. Zayns idea, of course. Fuckin nerd." Niall laughs at Zayn as he flips him off for his remark. I laugh too.

"Cool name. Whyd you name it that" I ask.

"A lot of things happen in that house that are secret." Niall says.

"How far away are we?" I ask.

"Calm down Tiny. Just gotta go through these trees." I look ahead to see a not that deep of a forest.

We walk through the forest, Zayn taking the lead, guiding us. It takes about a minute or two to reach the other end, where the house of question lays. The three boys run ahead into the house and i follow. This place is really cool. Its a old house, maybe 1940s? It has balconies on the second floor and brick walls. On the inside there is two living areas occupied by heavy worn down couches and tables. The kitchen is stocked with food that doesnt need to be refrigerated such as granola bars, peanut butter, water, energy drinks, a half full bottle of vodka and some other stuff. Downstairs is a gigantic and beautiful master bedroom. Upstairs there is 4 rooms, all themed a certain way. Ones cleary a little girls room, another a teenage boys. Theres two guest rooms, not seeming to belong to anyone. The girls room and one of the guest rooms own a balcony.

"This place is so cool." I say, following the boys as they give me a tour of the place.

"Yeah, we love it here. We come here at least a few times a week."

"Sometimes we only come here to do homework and talk about random things."

"And sometimes we come here with our girlfriends for some fun." Niall laughs his ass off at his own joke.

"Shut the fuck up, we are all single asshole." Zayn says sarcastically while hitting him in the stomach.

"I know i know, but you get the point." Niall reassures. Theres a awkward silence before Zayn speaks up.

"We do have some rules though." Zayn steps forward to talk to me directly.

"Okay."

"One. What happens in the house, stays in the house."

"Figured that." I reply.

"Two. Secrets belong here. Not at school. Not at someones house. Here and here only."

"Wait, what? What do you mean?" I ask. 

"Remember when Niall said we nicknamed this place The Chamber Of Secrets? Its cause we use this place to tell each other our secrets. Cringy, I know. But its a little thing we came up with in middle school. When we talk about The House or tell each other that we have a secret in public, like at lunch or something, the people around wont understand, therefore making us seem mysterious." 

"We have a code that we say to each other if we are in public to let each other know that we have to go to the house to share a secret." Niall interrupts.

"Okay..." I say unsurly.

"Three. You already know this, but im in charge of who is allowed to come here. So dont bring anyone. Dont even mention it to anyone. I also have the power to kick anyone out."

"This sounds like a weird cult thing that you would see in a movie." I mention. This is kind of creeping me out.

"Blame Zayn. He watches too much fantasy movies." Liam says. Niall and i laugh at his remark. Zayn rolls his eyes.

"Four. We come as a group. Not alone, not with one or two missing members. Only as a group."

"What if one of yall didnt come to school that day cause youre sick or something?" I ask.

"Doesnt matter. A secret can wait a day or two."

"Gotcha." I reply.

"Five. This isnt really a rule, but instead common knowledge. You can bring youre own food, games, gaming PC, we dont give a shit. Obviously make sure that you can take it back and forth, for instance, dont bring a whole ass TV."

"Didnt plan on it."

"Reminder, we have secrets of our own. If we tell you them, its a huge deal, so take that with pride, not too much though." He informs me, teasingly.

"Now, this is where the cult comes in." He says as he smirks and i get scared.

"Dont worry, im not being serious. It just kinda sounds like a cult kind of thing to do."

"Compared to what? The list of rules and all of this taking place in an abandoned house half a mile away from civilization? " I ask nervously.

"Yeah, exactly. Anyway, you gotta carve your name into the wall. Youre not doing it today, since we barely know you and just met you, but we will still drag you along. The three of us will mutually decide if and when you sign the wall."

"Can you show me the wall?" I ask them unsurely.

"Sure! Cmon." Liam says, walking away. I follow him and the other two trail behind. We walk to the stairwell and stop half way up. Liam points to the wall on the side of the stairs.

"There ya go! All three of our names there. Not one more, not one less." Liam smiles as he looks at me admiring the carvings.

"When did you guys sign this?" I ask.

"7th grade. March 3rd. Thats The Houses anniversary."

"Favorite day out of the year."

"What happens on that day?" I ask. Liams facial expression changes to a worrisome look. I turn around to see Nialls concerned face and Zayns...painful expression?

"Im sorry if thats something i shouldnt know. I didnt mean to-"

"Stop, its fine Louis, really. Its just a secret." Liam puts a hand on my shoulder to reassure me with a smile. I look back at Niall and Zayn forcing a smile too, trying to help the situation. I think they notice that i know theyre faking it, because they break the eye contact and change the subject.

"I think we should go." Zayn suggests as he walks down the stairs and towards the door. No one responds to him, but instead we follow him out the door and back to the school.  
We eventually reach the school, say goodbye and walk away. I text my mum to let her know im on my way home.

***

"Heyyy! How are you? Tell me what happened!" My mum says welcomes me back home.

"Nothing much. A group of boys started talking to me during Study and asked me to hang out after school, so i did."

"Tell me about these boys!" My mum exclaims as she makes me sit down on the couch with her. 

"Its nothing Mum, just some guys." I laugh with her.

"Cmon, tell me about them." She pesters. I tell her their names, what they look like and what I know about them so far. Nialls the talkative and fun one, Liams the poetic and kind one and Zayns the intimidating, blunt one and quite obviously the one in charge. Not once to i mention or even hint at The House.

"Im so glad youre making such good friends. Hopefully they stick with you for a while."

"Yeah, same." I walk up to my room and stay there for the rest of the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis passed the test.

The following two weeks I've only hung out with those boys 5 times. We never went back to the house or even mentioned it. We went to Liam's house one day to do homework, the other days we just hung out in the school field or walked around the town. They barely talk to me during class, only to tell me if we were gonna hang out that day. I do admit that i almost lost my cool a few times because they were basically ignoring me, but i decided to leave it alone. To be fair i'm not even in their group yet and they're still inviting me to hang out, so i chose to be grateful for the hang outs we do have.  
During study today Niall slipped me a note.

"Courtyard after school. Going back to the house." 

***  
After school I met them at our designated spot. Liam of course was happy to see me, same with Niall, but Zayn looked mad at me. We made our way to The House, Zayn stayed ahead of us the entire time. He sometimes would look back to look me up and down and would signal something to Liam or Niall. When we got there, Zayn walked into the Master Bedroom. Niall and Liam stayed back with me.

"Here we go," Liam said, directed towards Niall.

"What?" I asked.

"This is where we share the secrets, this room. Unspoken rule kind of deal."

"But what do you mean?"

"Just listen to him and you'll be fine."  
We all walk into the room to find Zayn sitting on the ground. We sat with him.

"What's goin on?" I ask after a minute of awkward silence. Zayn glares at me.

"Tell us about yourself." He finally says.

"That's what the deal is? You want to know about me?" I asked.

"Precisely. What's your birthday?"

"December 24th."

"Any siblings?" 

"Four little sisters."

"Favorite movie?"

"Uhh, Grease?"

"Favorite song?"

"How To Save A Life by The Fray."

"Are we your only friends?"

"No."

"Name?"

"Name of my other friend?" I ask. Zayn nods.

"Marcel." Zayn's demeanor changes, he seems shocked.

"Marcel Styles?" 

"Yeah. Do you know him?" I ask.

"None of your business. Anyway, if you were to be categorized into a stereotypical high school cliche, what would it be and why?" What kind of question is that??

"Uhhh, i'm not sure. What do you think?" I ask, trying to avoid the question.

"My opinion doesn't matter. What do YOU think you are?" Shit. I think about it for a second before I come up with an answer.

"Sporty??? I've been playing soccer since i was 5."

"Fine. We will stick with that for now."

"What's all the questions about?"

"I already told you."

"Zayn, I think you got enough answers from him. Let the boy breathe." Liam says. Thank god.

"Fine, but if I ask a question you have to answer, get it?" Zayn demands as we all stand up from the ground.

"Why do i have to answer?"

"Because i said so." He steps forward.

"And who are you to force answers out of me?" He stepped closer too.

"I'm in charge." His eyes are attempting to pierce into me, not gonna work. Gotta stand my ground.

"Who gives a shit?" There is a pause. Zayns expression changed from demanding to proud. He smiled at me and his eyes seemed to be full of...hope?

"Good job. You passed." Zayn says. Niall and Liam celebrate from afar.

"What??" I back away from him since there's no tension now.

"You passed the test to officially join us."

"What test?"

"Our little argument right there. That was the test. Everyone who we've tried to recruit has backed down when I try to overpower them. You stood your ground and fought me back. That's exactly what I wanted."

"So just because i got mad at you, i'm in the group now?"

"We don't want people pleasers, We want people challengers. Ones that'll put up a fight and defend themselves." Zayn looks at me proudly.

"Well what was the deal the past two weeks? You guys barely acknowledged my existence."

"That was also the test. To see how you act when you're ignored or aren't appreciated. Most people beg for the attention after a day or two, but you were grateful for the times you spent with us.  
That says a lot about you."

"Can he sign the wall????" Liam asks Zayn.

"Can i?" I repeat. Zayn nods and we all walk over to where the carvings are.

"I'll get the shank!" Liam exclaims as he runs towards the kitchen.

"What???"

"For the carving dumbass. You're not getting stabbed." Niall answered. Liam came back with a pocket knife and handed it to me. They all watched me closely as I carved my name into the wall.

"There ya go. It's there forever." I say as I finish. The boys celebrate.

"Welcome Louis. Glad to have ya." Niall slaps me on the back.

"This calls for a toast. Liam, may you prepare us 4 glasses of root beer?"

"Of course. I'm surprised you didn't suggest alcohol." Liam laughs as he walks into the kitchen.

"Not in the mood. Plus, root beer is always better." Facts.  
We enjoyed the evening drinking gallons of root beer and random food that was sitting in the kitchen. We laughed and joked and had a really good time. We were hella bloated by the time we headed home which was around 7:30

"Hey babe! You're home late." my mum laughs to herself as i walk through the door. All of my sisters are sitting at the table eating dinner.

"Hey, thanks for waiting up." I put my backpack by the door and walked over to the table.

"Want dinner? There's leftovers." My mum asks.

"No thanks. I ate with the guys."

"Ouuu the guys. He has guys." My mum mocks me. We both laugh.

"Yeah cause I'm cool like that." 

"Sure you are. I know you'd rather be alone in your room than hang out with us girls, so head along." 

"Sounds like you want me to go." I laugh at her.

"We do!" Fizzy exclaims and makes the whole table laugh. I hurry up to my room to spend the rest of the night on my phone. It's Friday, so we don't have homework. I got a text from Marcel later in the night.

Marcel: Hello! I apologize for the late notice, but i was wondering if you would like to come over to my house tomorrow?

Louis: Sure! Same time as last time, 11?

Marcel: Sounds good! See ya then!

Louis: See ya  
I went to sleep that night thinking about how my new life has turned out. This is the first time I've actually had friends, i mean, yeah they are probably up to something, but Im grateful to hnag out with people like them. I need to stick with them to keep and grow my reputation of a bad boy whos straight and parties all the time and all that shit. They are half decent guys, theyre nice to me and all that. Same with Marcel. He's really smart, kind and loyal. He reminds me of who I used to be back in middle school. I really like hanging out with Marcel. Hopefully I stick with all of them throughout highschool.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets into some drama

My mum dropped me off at Marcels house around 11 in the morning, and of course she stayed downstairs a little while to chat with his mum, Anne. Nice lady. Marcel and I played on his Nitendo for a few hours. We also talked about those boys in Study and why i hung out with them and what i think about them, all that stuff. We eventually excused himself to use the restroom. I waited for him while using my phone. When I thought he came back, it was his brother instead.

"Louis, right?" He asked me as he stood at the door with his arms crossed. He looks exactly like Marcel, just taller and much more attractive. He has green eyes and decently long and curly hair compared to Marcel who has brown eyes and short hair always slicked back. Other than that they are basically twins.

"Uh, yeah. What's yours again?" I asked, turning my attention back to my phone.

"Harry."

"Oh, yeah." This is awkward.

"You're Marcel's friend, I take it?" He asks.

"It would be concerning if someone he wasn't friends with was hanging out in his house." I said back sarcastically. I laugh to myself.

"It's happened before." He says, i look at him with confusion. There's an awkward silence as I scramble to find out what he means.

"Why are you friends with him?" Harry finally speaks up. The fuck?

"Cause I am. Hes cool, he's nice and he's a shit ton of help when it comes to my homework." I laugh to myself. "Why would you ask that?"

"Cause, a lot of people that he brings into this house with him aren't his friends. They use him for his intelligence or use his vulnerability against him. I'm sure you know what im talking about."

"Yeah, yeah i do." I connected the dots to realize he's talking about his middle school bullies. He said that they would pretend to be his friends but when they hung out in private they would steal his homework or hurt him.

"Are you one of those people?" Harry asks me, one eyebrow raised and staring me in my face. He's genuinely concerned for his brother's safety.

"What? No! Never in a million years. I'd never do that to him." I sigh and look away to look at the ground.

"I know what you mean. I had the same problem, Marcel already knows this. I had people too that would take my homework or whatever. They'd make a good impression on my mum, therefore they were always welcomed to hang out with me. So it was nonstop, just like Marcel. I'd never let that happen to Marcel again." I look back up to Harry, his expression changing from concerned to sympathetic. He is still looking at me, examining me. I look away out of awkwardness. 

"S-sorry. I should go." Harry scurries out of the room and I'm left alone. About a minute later, Marcel appears again and we go back to playing video games. I didn't tell him about the encounter I had with his brother.  
I leave their house a few hours later. I made eye contact with Harry when I passed his room on my way out. I text Marcel for a while that night along with a random number that happened to be Zayn who got my number from someone, he wont tell me who.

***

"Yo Tiny wassup!" Niall greets me as I walk into Study. The rest of the group draw their attention to me and welcome me to my seat. Marcel is already at his seat, reading what's left of Romeo and Juliet. I leave him alone to finish reading and talk to the group of boys. 

"Imma ask this again. Zayn, how the fuck did you get my number?" I ask Zayn. he gets serious as the other boys seem to not know of this information.

"I already told you, none of your business. Be grateful I made the effort to get your number in the first place."

"Asshole." I say back and roll my eyes.

"Watch your mouth Tiny."

"Stop calling me Tiny!"

"I'll do what i want." Zayn scoots closer to me.

"I do have to admit, it is funny." Niall says, thinking his opinion is relevant.

"Shut up!!" Zayn and I yell at him unanimously, making Niall back off. The whole class turns around to face us, including the teacher.

"Woah woah woah, there should be no yelling in my classroom! What is going on here??" Mrs. Sabbath walks over to us and Zayn and I back off from each other.

"Nothing Mrs. Sabbath." I say, my instinct to guard myself and protect my reputation of never getting in trouble comes into action.

"Did not sound like nothing. Who did you tell to shut up?" She puts her hands on her hips and stares at us in a teacherly fashion. We both point towards Niall, who is just going along with this whole   
thing.

"We don't allow profanity in this classroom, especially when it's directed towards a peer. I'm going to need you two to step out into the hallway." God fucking dammit. We both sign and stand up to walk out. On our way out we look back at Niall who mouths "Im sorry.". We both roll our eyes, Zayn flips him off. Liam and Marcel are looking at us, both very concerned. Mrs. Sabbath follows us into the hallway and closes the door behind us. She starts questioning us about the situation and our choice of words. Both Zayn and I are very annoyed with the whole situation, but try our best to keep our cool and be respectful to our teacher so we don't get in more trouble.

"You do not use hurtful words in my classroom, I don't care if he's your friend, you treat him with respect. You two have detention after school. I expect to see you there." She opens the door to let us back into the classroom, everyones eyes are on us, but our eyes are on Niall, wanting to beat the shit out of him.

"How'd it go?" Niall asks us, clearly afraid of why we are mad at him.

"We got detention, fucking asshole." Zayn says under his breath, making sure our teacher didn't hear.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Niall apologizes. He puts his head down in shame.

"Its okay Niall, it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong." Liam chimes in, patting Niall on the back, comforting him. Zayn and I glare at him.

"Shit, I'm gonna get in so much trouble at home." I say, staring at the ground.

"Why? Is this your first time getting detention?" Zayn asks, ready to make fun of me.

"Maybe. Do they tell your parents when you get detention?" I ask Zayn, knowing he has experience in this area.

"Unfortunately yeah. But mine are used to it by now, so i don't really get in trouble for it, they kinda gave up. I suppose yours aren't gonna be happy about it?" Zayn asks.

"Definitely not going to be happy about it. I've managed to get away with everything i've done without detention, so now they are going to be on my back about it." That whole thing was a lie. I've never done anything bad, that's why i've never had detention, and she wouldn't be on my back about it, yeah she's gonna be shocked and disappointed, but we won't be anything more than that.

"Oh shit man, that's tough." Zayn says, i'm gonna assume that I'm supposed to be sympathetic. It's literally the first class of the day, and my day is already shit.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets into some drama

My mum dropped me off at Marcels house around 11 in the morning, and of course she stayed downstairs a little while to chat with his mum, Anne. Nice lady. Marcel and I played on his Nitendo for a few hours. We also talked about those boys in Study and why i hung out with them and what i think about them, all that stuff. We eventually excused himself to use the restroom. I waited for him while using my phone. When I thought he came back, it was his brother instead.  
"Louis, right?" He asked me as he stood at the door with his arms crossed. He looks exactly like Marcel, just taller and much more attractive. He has green eyes and decently long and curly hair compared to Marcel who has brown eyes and short hair always slicked back. Other than that they are basically twins.  
"Uh, yeah. What's yours again?" I asked, turning my attention back to my phone.  
"Harry."  
"Oh, yeah." This is awkward.  
"You're Marcel's friend, I take it?" He asks.  
"It would be concerning if someone he wasn't friends with was hanging out in his house." I said back sarcastically. I laugh to myself.  
"It's happened before." He says, i look at him with confusion. There's an awkward silence as I scramble to find out what he means.  
"Why are you friends with him?" Harry finally speaks up. The fuck?  
"Cause I am. Hes cool, he's nice and he's a shit ton of help when it comes to my homework." I laugh to myself. "Why would you ask that?"  
"Cause, a lot of people that he brings into this house with him aren't his friends. They use him for his intelligence or use his vulnerability against him. I'm sure you know what im talking about."  
"Yeah, yeah i do." I connected the dots to realize he's talking about his middle school bullies. He said that they would pretend to be his friends but when they hung out in private they would steal his homework or hurt him.  
"Are you one of those people?" Harry asks me, one eyebrow raised and staring me in my face. He's genuinely concerned for his brother's safety.  
"What? No! Never in a million years. I'd never do that to him." I sigh and look away to look at the ground.  
"I know what you mean. I had the same problem, Marcel already knows this. I had people too that would take my homework or whatever. They'd make a good impression on my mum, therefore they were always welcomed to hang out with me. So it was nonstop, just like Marcel. I'd never let that happen to Marcel again." I look back up to Harry, his expression changing from concerned to sympathetic. He is still looking at me, examining me. I look away out of awkwardness.  
"S-sorry. I should go." Harry scurries out of the room and I'm left alone. About a minute later, Marcel appears again and we go back to playing video games. I didn't tell him about the encounter I had with his brother.  
I leave their house a few hours later. I made eye contact with Harry when I passed his room on my way out. I text Marcel for a while that night along with a random number that happened to be Zayn who got my number from someone, he wont tell me who.

***

"Yo Tiny wassup!" Niall greets me as I walk into Study. The rest of the group draw their attention to me and welcome me to my seat. Marcel is already at his seat, reading what's left of Romeo and Juliet. I leave him alone to finish reading and talk to the group of boys.  
"Imma ask this again. Zayn, how the fuck did you get my number?" I ask Zayn. he gets serious as the other boys seem to not know of this information.  
"I already told you, none of your business. Be grateful I made the effort to get your number in the first place."  
"Asshole." I say back and roll my eyes.  
"Watch your mouth Tiny."  
"Stop calling me Tiny!"  
"I'll do what i want." Zayn scoots closer to me.  
"I do have to admit, it is funny." Niall says, thinking his opinion is relevant.  
"Shut up!!" Zayn and I yell at him unanimously, making Niall back off. The whole class turns around to face us, including the teacher.  
"Woah woah woah, there should be no yelling in my classroom! What is going on here??" Mrs. Sabbath walks over to us and Zayn and I back off from each other.  
"Nothing Mrs. Sabbath." I say, my instinct to guard myself and protect my reputation of never getting in trouble comes into action.  
"Did not sound like nothing. Who did you tell to shut up?" She puts her hands on her hips and stares at us in a teacherly fashion. We both point towards Niall, who is just going along with this whole thing.  
"We don't allow profanity in this classroom, especially when it's directed towards a peer. I'm going to need you two to step out into the hallway." God fucking dammit. We both sign and stand up to walk out. On our way out we look back at Niall who mouths "Im sorry.". We both roll our eyes, Zayn flips him off. Liam and Marcel are looking at us, both very concerned. Mrs. Sabbath follows us into the hallway and closes the door behind us. She starts questioning us about the situation and our choice of words. Both Zayn and I are very annoyed with the whole situation, but try our best to keep our cool and be respectful to our teacher so we don't get in more trouble.  
"You do not use hurtful words in my classroom, I don't care if he's your friend, you treat him with respect. You two have detention after school. I expect to see you there." She opens the door to let us back into the classroom, everyones eyes are on us, but our eyes are on Niall, wanting to beat the shit out of him.  
"How'd it go?" Niall asks us, clearly afraid of why we are mad at him.  
"We got detention, fucking asshole." Zayn says under his breath, making sure our teacher didn't hear.  
"Oh, I'm sorry." Niall apologizes. He puts his head down in shame.  
"Its okay Niall, it's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong." Liam chimes in, patting Niall on the back, comforting him. Zayn and I glare at him.  
"Shit, I'm gonna get in so much trouble at home." I say, staring at the ground.  
"Why? Is this your first time getting detention?" Zayn asks, ready to make fun of me.  
"Maybe. Do they tell your parents when you get detention?" I ask Zayn, knowing he has experience in this area.  
"Unfortunately yeah. But mine are used to it by now, so i don't really get in trouble for it, they kinda gave up. I suppose yours aren't gonna be happy about it?" Zayn asks.  
"Definitely not going to be happy about it. I've managed to get away with everything i've done without detention, so now they are going to be on my back about it." That whole thing was a lie. I've never done anything bad, that's why i've never had detention, and she wouldn't be on my back about it, yeah she's gonna be shocked and disappointed, but we won't be anything more than that.  
"Oh shit man, that's tough." Zayn says, i'm gonna assume that I'm supposed to be sympathetic. It's literally the first class of the day, and my day is already shit.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis goes to detention

As usual, I sit with Marcel at lunch. I'm still in a shitty mood because of what happened in Study.

"So how are you going to tell your mother?" Marcel asks, taking a bite of his sandwich. I lift my head up from it resting in my hands in despair.

"I have no idea. I have never done something like this before, she's gonna be so sad about it." Marcel knows the truth that I have never done anything bad. I have never been in trouble since I was always the teacher's pet and I hung around with good people.

"Well, this is what you wanted, right? To change yourself, get in trouble, be a bad boy?" Marcel asks. Yes, i told him about my plan. All except for the fact that im gay. I'm not telling him that.

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't expecting it to get me detention so early on."

"Well, you'll be fine."

"Yeah. Uh also i wanted to tell you something." I say, which makes him direct his attention to me.

"Yeah?" he seems worried.

"So, when we hung out on Saturday, and you left the room to go to the restroom, your brother came in and talked to me." I say with hesitation, wondering if he would be okay with me talking to his brother.

"Oh? What did he say?" He takes a bite of his sandwich, unaffected by what I'm saying.

"Uh, we talked about you. He asked if I was a bully or if I had any bad intentions."

"Mhm." He's completely unaffected by what I'm saying.

"And i said of course not cause im your friend and i would never do that to you or let that happen to you again." He smiles big and I can tell he's getting emotional.

"To be honest, I want him to talk to you."

"What?" I say, shocked.

"Yeah. You're my first real friend, and I wanted to make sure you were a real one, not one that was lying about being my friend."

"You thought I was lying?" I ask, kind of hurt.

"No, of course not. I trust you. I just wanted to make sure, and to see what you would say about me behind my back to Harry."

"Oh, okay. Then do you know why he left the way he did?" I ask, and Marcel raises his eyebrow in suspension.

"What do you mean?"

"When i told him that i've gone through the same thing, so i know why he would be worried about your safety cause you've never had any real friends, he got sympathetic for me? And he was looking at me weird, then he left."

"That's weird, I'm not sure why he did that. I'm sorry if it made you feel awkward or anything." He apologized on behalf of his brothers behavior.

"No, no it's fine. I was just asking."

***

The bell rings for the end of the day, the boys told me to meet them in the courtyard so we can say goodbye to each other and so Zayn and I could walk to detention together. When I get there, Liam and Niall still look sympathetic but supportive for Zayn and I. Zayn looks very annoyed, and to be fair, so am I. We say goodbye and Zayn and I walk to our detention together. We made small talk on our way.

"This is your fault." Zayn says quietly to me.

"And how is that?" I ask, knowing full well that this is his fault.

"You started it."

"You called me Tiny."

"You had to make a deal out of it."

"You had to get mad at me making a deal of it."

"Then Niall had to butt in."

"We yelled at him."

"And now we are here."

"So it's Nialls fault?" I ask.

"Exactly." Zayn agrees. We walk into the classroom where our detention is held. There's two other students in the classroom.

"Hello boys. Take a seat on opposite sides of the classroom. Give me your phones or any other electronic devices you have."

"How long is this gonna take?" I ask, obviously very inpatient.

"1 hour. No restroom breaks. Just sit there. If you have homework to do, do that." Mrs. Sabbath says. We both sit at random desks and I get out my homework to do. I look at the clock. 58 minutes to go. God this is gonna take forever, and the anxiety of what my mum's going to say when i get home is eating away at me the entire time. 

***

Once my detention is over, Zayn and I say goodbye and walk home. The entire walk home is full of anxiety and being scared of what my mum's going to say to me. Hopefull shes not that hurt by it.  
I open my door slowly and peek inside to see my mum and all of my sisters sitting at the dinner table waiting for me. My mum sees me and hurries over to hug me. After what felt like forever, she backs up and puts my head in her hands and looks into my eyes, trying to find out what was wrong with me. She starts to tear up and cries.

"Why? Why Louis, you've never done anything, what changed?" I break from her grip and look away from her.

"Mum, it's just detention, it's not a big deal. Im in high school now, you can expect me to be perfect."

"I'm not expecting you to be anything! I just want to know why?"

"None of your business. I know what I did, it's over now, can we move on?" I say, knowing my words would hurt her. I take a glance at her to see her shocked at my words. I look at my sisters, they look worried.

"Louis… this isn't you." She says dramatically, tears building in her dark blue eyes.

"I know. But youre gonna have to deal with it." There's a silence, where everyone is trying to comprehend what's happening. Both my mum and all my sisters are staring at me, and I'm staring at the floor, not knowing what to do or say. I would start crying, because hurting my family is the last thing I would ever want, but I can't. I physically can't. I run to my room before I embarrass myself anymore than I already did. I can hear the faint sobs of my mum through my closed door. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, wondering what everything has come to. After what felt like only a few minutes, but apparently about an hour, Fizzy comes into my room and asks to talk. I give her the basic rundown, that i wanted to change myself, and sometimes that hurts people. I told her it was never my intention to hurt our mum or any of them, it's just what happened. Of course she asked why I got detention, yet I didn't tell her. It's not that i'm ashamed of what i did, cause i know it's not my fault. It's just, I need to get better at keeping things to myself and not being vulnerable. She seemed to understand that. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the forehead as she headed out to be with everyone else. The rest of the night I finished my homework and texted Zayn a bit about our parents' reaction and school and general. Marcel checks in on me eventually and asks if everything is okay, and I tell him that everything is fine, which is a lie. Everything is a lie.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gets his first secret.

It's been a few weeks since my first detention. My mum got over it pretty quickly, and I guess I did too. She seemed fine about everything until I just had to get another detention last week. At that point my mum knew this was going to be an ongoing thing. To be fair, it wasn't my fault! I forgot to do my homework, so I asked Marcel to do it for me that morning, and I got caught. Thankfully Marcel didn't get in trouble, but I did apologize to him profusely. I felt really bad about it, but he seemed used to it, which is sad. I've been trying to distract the stress of my detentions by hanging out with the boys and Marcel as much as possible. Niall told us today in Study that he has a secret, so we are going to head up to The House later after school.  
I meet the boys at our place in the courtyard and we make our way to the house.  
“So Niall, what's the secret?” I tease.

“Louis, that's a rule.”

“Huh?”

“‘Don't tell secrets outside of the house.’” He quotes. I roll my eyes and forget about it until we get to the house.  
As we enter, we go into the master bedroom and we all sit on the floor, directing our attention to Niall.

“I just realized this is Louis’ first secret! You excited Louis?” Liam asks me with a big, proud smile on his face. I return a happy smile back to him.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” I assure him.

“Okay, cmon lads. You guys ready?” Niall asks, eager to tell his secret. We all nod and focus on him.

“My brother got a girl pregnant, and she's keeping it.”

“Fuck yeah!” Zayn congratulates Niall and high fives him.

“Holy shit dude, you're gonna be an uncle!” I exclaim.

“Is Greg fit to be a dad? Genuine question.” Liam asks.

“Fuck no hes not. He hasn't told anyone yet, just me. He's trying to figure what to do.”

“Is he gonna run away to get milk?” I tease. Niall laughs and slaps my arm.

“Is this his girlfriend?” Liam asks.

“No, he's single! This was some random girl that he hooked up with a few weeks ago.”

“Shit dude. How are you gonna break it to your folks?” Zayn asks.

“Not my problem, it's his responsibility to tell them. I'm not doing shit.”

“But hey, i have four little sisters, so we have a lot of leftover baby stuff. If he needs any I'll be glad to give it to him.”

“Thanks Tommo! Always knew you were a good guy.”

“Yeah yeah.”

We spend the next few hours at the house talking about random stuff and just hanging out. As we get ready to leave, I get a text from a random number.

“I swear to fucking god, whoever is giving out my number to random people needs to stop.” I say, directing it towards Zayn because i know he got my number from a person i don't know.

“It's not me dude, who is it?”

“I don't know, they just said ‘hey’.”

“Respond!” Liam tells me. I nod and reply with ‘hey? Do you know me?’

“Okay done. Cmon.” I say as i push the thought out of my head and walk everyone outside so we can all walk home. We all tell Niall to wish his brother good luck with the baby and I tell him to text me if he needs anything. Niall is very grateful for my generosity and says that he'll make sure to tell Greg.  
We all say our goodbyes and head off home.

***

I arrive home and go straight to my room. Out of habit, I immediately got on my phone just to see that the unknown number texted me.

?: kind of. We aren't friends, but we've talked.  
Louis: Can you tell me who you are?   
?: i'm not sure  
Louis: Tell me or I will block you.  
?: Harry. Marcel's brother.  
Louis: Oh, okay. How'd you get my number?  
Harry: Marcel, I asked for it.  
Louis: Why?  
Harry: You're Marcel's first friend, I just want to get to know you better and make sure you're a good guy.  
Louis: Okay, well I'm pretty sure I'm a good guy. You don't need to worry about that lol  
Harry: Good. So, how are you doing?  
Harry and I text for a while about life, Marcel and school. I eventually told him that I needed to do my homework or i'm going to get detention again and he was very understanding. We said again and I promised to text him again tomorrow. I found out that he's 16 right now and trying to get his license. He likes The Beatles and Abba and he loves to read. I told him that I like The Fray and The Neighborhood, I have 4 little sisters and I like to draw. He made small talk along the way too but overall the conversation was pretty good for a guy I've never talked to before. I added his name into my contacts and asked him to send me a picture of himself to put for his profile. He sent a selfie that seemed pretty recent. His curls are all over the place, but in a good way. The sun was showing off his green eyes and his details, a very good picture, I must say. He asks for a picture of me for the same reason. I sent a mirror selfie of me in a shirt and jeans I took the other day because I liked the outfit. He complimented my outfit and I thanked him. For some reason I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he asked for my number specifically from Marcel. I wonder why Marcel would let me talk to his brother, or just give my number to random p-. Wait, Marcel gave Zayn my number! Wait, but no, because Marcel and Zayn don't know each other, or do they? I should ask Marcel, I know he’ll tell me the truth. God knows you can't get shit out of Zayn for the life of you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis plans his Thanksgiving holiday

Like every other day, my mother wakes me up for school. Today is the last day of school until fall break, so there will be no assignments or other obligations unless my teachers plan to be assholes. My mother promised that we will go to Starbucks tonight, mostly because the girls want the Pumpkin Spice Frappe. For the sake of them, I said I'd give it a shot. I'm not a major fan of that kind of thing; I prefer tea.   
I get out of the shower and change into something warmer because it's getting colder outside. I didn't buy anything in my new style for the winter, so I've been wearing jeans and a black hoodie every day. I straighten my hair and go downstairs to join my mother and Fizzy for breakfast. Fizzy has been waking up a little bit earlier just so she can hang out with Mum and I before school, and I think that's sweet. I sit down at the table and my mum. My mum places a plate of french toast in front of me as I sit down at the table. We talk about plans for next week and Thanksgiving for a while before my mother comes up with an idea.

“How about inviting your new friends over for Thanksgiving?” She asks me with enthusiasm.

“I don't think so,” I say, unsurly.

“Why not?” 

“Just because, you know, they probably have relatives to see and all that.”

“Even so, it would be nice to ask them. I'd like to meet them as well!” She stares at me, waiting for me to answer. I sigh before I answer.

“Fine, I'll ask them. There's no guarantee that any of them will say yes.” I say, going along with whatever plan she has in mind.

“Great! Looking forward to it.” We continue to have small talk until I have to leave for school. I kiss them goodbye as I walk out the door to catch my bus.

During Study, the boys and I mutually agreed to meet at the House after school. We didn't say why; we just because we wanted to. I plan to bring up the Thanksgiving invitation at that time. Marcel spends his entire Study period completing an essay for Advanced English regarding his reading of Romeo and Juliet. The prompts for the assignment were “How the two protagonists conveyed their devotion in extreme detail” and “What is a similar issue or event that is occurring in society today, where love cannot be publicly expressed with pride?” That sounds awfully familiar.  
As always, I meet Marcel and have lunch with him. I make small talk by asking about his Juliet and Romeo assignment, and he goes on and on about how strong Romeo and Juliet's love was and how magnificent of a novel it was, and I made it quite clear that I disagree.

“Why are you shaking your head?” He asks me.

“I just dont understand what all of the hype is about the book and whatever it's about.”

“It's about the two lovers' unbelievable and indestructible bond and their adventures together!”

“They frickin killed themselves at the end! What kind of love is that?!” I exclaim, and my statement obviously offends him.

“Well, you're clearly too arrogant to comprehend the novel's true meaning. I don't assume you're going to bother reading The Great Gastby anytime soon.”

“The what?”

“Precisely my point.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes and ignore him for a bit. After a minute or two of silence, I speak up.

“Uh, by the way, my mum was wondering if you wanted to come over for Thanksgiving next week?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, what do you think?”

“I'd love to. “It's been years since I've had Thanksgiving.” He says sad all of a sudden.

“What do you mean?”. Doesn't everyone celebrate Thanksgiving?

“Since my sister and father died, we've been deliberately avoiding Thanksgiving. We all agree that seeing the two empty seats at such an important event meant to be spent with family is too   
painful.” 

“Oh, that sounds terrible.” I hesitate before I say whats on my mind. “If Harry wants to come, he's always welcome, and I'll have my mum talk your mum about it.”

“Are you serious? “Would you do that?” He asks, his voice breaking with emotion.

“Of course, you're my friend, and I want you to have a good holiday.” He stands up and walks around the table to hug me.

“Thank you so much; Harry and my mum will be so grateful”

“What are friends for?” I laugh.  
***  
Once the boys and I arrive at the house, we decide to eat some food that we have in the pantry, which included soda, cookies and random pieces of candy and I brought over one day. We sit around and talk nonsense and update each other on our lives.

“So Greg decided that hes gonna stay and raise the kid with the girl he got pregant.”

“Lets give a hand for some human decency!” I say, everyone laughs and applaud.

“Any names yet?” Liam eagerly asks.

“A lot of really bad ones. There was Kevin,Greg Jr, Theo-”

“Awww Theo is cute!” Liam exclaims.

“Shut up, no it's not.” Niall defends.

“Whats this girls name?” I ask.

“Samantha. Shes tall, blonde and sexy, of course. Shes actually pretty nice, she invited him to Thanksgiving, not me though haha” Niall laughs.

“Oh, actually speaking of which, do yall wanna come over for Thanksgiving?”

“Are you serious?” Zayn asks me.

“Yeah of course.”

“I dont see why not.” Liam says.

“Can i raid your pantry?”

“No Niall you cant raid my goddamn pantry.”

“You have little sisters right?” Liam asks.

“Yeah, four.” I respond.

“I can already tell this is gonna be chaos.” Zayn says disapprovingly.

“So its a yes? You guys will go?”

“Yeah!” They all say unanimously.

“Awesome. Then its a plan.”

***  
When I got home, I told my mum that everyone that was invited said yes, and that Harry and Anne wanted to come too. Of course she was over the moon about it and I tell her it's not a big deal. My sisters ask questions about the people who are coming, and I tell them what I can. Later that night Niall made a group chat with the other boys in it, and we ended up texting there until 1 in the morning, it was awesome, they are very excited to hang out next week. I hope it goes well.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis spends Thanksgiving with his friends and finds out new things about them.

It's the big day, my friends and family are coming over for thanksgiving. Fizzy, Lottie and I worked all morning to clean the house and set up everything while mum cooked all day. Everyone said they would come around noon so they could spend some time together before the big meal. There's going to be like 20 people here… 6 in my family, 4 of my friends plus Harry and Anne, then some other random adults i barely know. We try to help our mum as much as possible because we know she's under a lot of stress, but she swears that she can do everything by herself.   
I sit on my bed impatiently until Marcel and his family arrive at 12:30. I greet them at the door and let them in. Marcel's wearing a plaid vest over a white button down shirt and khaki pants. Anne is wearing a beautiful dress that compliments her in every way, plus a gorgeous hairstyle. Harry is wearing a black long sleeve button up and black slacks. His nails are painted dark orange, and i love that. His hair is styled perfectly to show off his incredible facial features. The dark outfit makes his green eyes really pop out and seem almost intimidating, and for some reason, those same eyes never stop staring at me.  
Anne somehow convinced my mum to help her in the kitchen, so they did that together. Marcel and I play cards that he brought over while Harry sits on the other side of the couch as me, reading a book and minding his business, he still glances at me now and then, it's weird. We play a few rounds of whatever game Marcel taught me until there's another ring at the door. I go to open it, and it's the boys. Niall holds a bottle of champagne, Liam holds a bouquet of autumn flowers and Zayn holds a packet of cigarettes. They welcome themselves very loudly. My mum excuses herself from cooking and comes over to greet them.  
“Hello! I've heard so much about you boys, glad to have you.” My mum says, standing in front of them.   
“Thank you for inviting us! We were very excited.” Liam says as she gives her a friendly hug.  
“Got some champagne!” Niall blurts out.  
“Wonderful! You can set it on the dining table over there.” Niall walks over to the table, very beautifully set by yours truly and places it down.  
“Come over here! Guys, this is Marcel and his brother Harry. Marcel and Harry, this is Niall, Liam and Zayn.” I introduce the two groups as the trio sit down with us. There's a silence where everyone is just, staring.  
“You guys okay?” I ask them all. Harry and Marcel are staring at Zayn, Niall and Liam are looking at each other trying to find an answer in each other's concerned expressions, and Zayn is staring at the ground, aggressively playing with his rings.  
“Guys??” I pester, trying to figure out what's going on right now. There's definitely hidden tension between the two groups, i thought they didn't know each other?  
“Uh, w-we… uh-” Harry starts to speak up, but gets interrupted by my Mum.  
“Time to dine! Everyone come get their plates!” My Mum exclaims, all of us stand up to make our way to the kitchen but I grab Marcel's arm and pull him back.  
“What happened?” I ask him, still having a firm grip on his bicep.  
“I'll explain later.” He pulls away from me, and I can see the pain clear in his eyes. This is much deeper than it seems. God, I fucked up badly.  
The entirety of the dinner was awkward. My mum was too busy talking to Anne and the rest of our family so she didn't notice anything wrong with the rest of us. I sat in between Harry and Niall. Niall distracted himself by eating half of the food on the table, while Harry could barely touch his food. Him and I were texting under the table because I was trying to figure out what was going on between everyone. The only thing he would tell me was that they knew each other and had some history. I apologized profusely to him for causing all of this, and he said it was fine because I didn't know. This is all my fault, I fucked up bad. Their faces when they saw each other were like they were traumatized, it was terrifying. I feel so bad. The one year I have friends and want to introduce them to each other. They hate each other. I hate it here.  
After about an hour later, when we all decide that we've finished eating, Liam and Anne of course offer to help with the dishes. My mum gladly lets them help her, and the rest of us go back to sit on the couch. We subconsciously all go on our phones, sometimes looking up to glance at each other. I Marcel to apologize, along with the groupchat I have with the boys. Only Niall answers in the group chat, saying “It's not your fault, sorry this all happened.” I of course sent a good ass apology message, and was left on read by everyone. Zayn keeps giving me dirty looks. Harry noticed and texted me about it saying. “Ignore him. You did nothing wrong.” I replied with a “Thank you.” and went back to scrolling through my boring ass social media. A little bit later, my mum decided she wants us to play a group board game. We all join except Zayn. Liam stays with him for a second to talk to him, then eventually joins the rest of us. The game lightens the mood a little, but everything is still awkward.  
An hour or two later, the boys mutually decide to leave. I hug them goodbye, all except for Zayn. He wants nothing to do with me. I ask Liam and Niall to please talk to him, and they promise to do so. Harry and Marcel stay for a while longer. The tension in the room left whenever the boys left, which is good. Marcel suggested I show them around the house, so I did. We ended up chilling in my room for the rest of the night until they had to leave. I hugged Marcel goodbye and waved at Harry. He gave a friendly smile and waved back. He was acting weird toward me all of tonight. He never stopped looking at me, he always chose to sit next to me and texted me a lot. He was kind of...clingy? I'm not sure if that's the right word, especially when i barely know him, but strangely… it feels right.


End file.
